Some Of My Testimony  (Excerpts of my Testimony, as stated in the Preface)     

I didn’t go to God for the nation, or anyone else; I went to God for me.

I had no interest, need, or desire to seek answers from God, for anyone else’s problems or troubles, let alone those of America. I needed answers for me, myself. I needed help. I needed to be saved, saved from the world, saved from others, and saved from myself. In November of 2005, at the age of 55, I called upon God for me, due to my life crisis of a long list of unsolved and unresolved crises, tragedies, disasters, trauma, pain, grief and suffering, tied to a long trail of losses of life and living, that had left me with a long trail of life-long pain, grief and suffering, without ending, despite all my efforts and attempts, the best and worst, and despite everything I could think of to try. He was my last effort, and resort to bring some positive closure and ending to all the life’s failures, that accounted for my failure to really get to live at all, let alone to live the full, abundant, positively rewarding quality of life I ought to have achieved and experienced.

I had run-out of possible answers and solutions to try. I had exhausted all my motivation and enthusiasm to want to try again, or to need to try any more. I was done. But, I had not run out of time. My time on the earth was not ended. Objectively, I had no reason to remain on the earth; but it was not time for me to depart. So, I went to God, to get Him to help me, to essentially save me, to save me from myself, from the world and from others. I wanted Him to save me from anymore life failures. I wanted sanctuary from the world, sanctuary from 55 years filled with practically nothing but loss, trauma, pain, grief and suffering despite my best intentions, despite being highly intelligent, despite God having highly gifted me with multiple, highly valuable talents and abilities. I turned to God because of my predicament; but, I didn’t know what was the solution for it. And, I didn’t know enough about God to know what He would, or could do for me.

He did exceedingly, abundantly, above and beyond all I could, or did, think to ask

Quite frankly, I didn’t know what, or what all to ask God for; I didn’t know what all He could do, or would do for me, or for anyone in my situation and circumstances. I didn’t know anything about being saved, biblically speaking. I didn’t know about my Soul being saved. I only knew that I could not bring the end to my long trail of losses, failures, traumas, pain, grief and suffering. And, I didn’t know anyone who could help me accomplish it. But, I did believe that God was thee ultimate source, for anything that anyone needed; because, as a child I had heard my mother seriously praying to Him. Thus, in serious matters, God was the one to go to for help. So, why hadn’t I gone to Him sooner, much sooner, rather than at the point that I had given up. Why hadn’t I gone to Him sooner? It was because, before that point, I thought I could do it myself. I was convinced I could solve my own problems; and get my life back on the right track. I didn’t realize I was wrong; that I couldn’t, until I tried; and tried, and tried, and tried repeatedly, and still did not succeed. I tried all I could, until I reached the end of myself, the end of my ideas, my resourcefulness, my creativity, my intelligence, the end of everything I had, could do, and could get others help to do. It was only at the point of having exhausted all other possibilities, that I realized the need for me to go to God for His help. However, even though I had read The Bible, belonged to a church, attended church, and had been baptized, I still did not know enough about God, to know what to ask of Him. So, now, I understand the scriptural message, that we know not what we should pray for; because, I surely did not know what to ask.

So, what did I pray, what did I ask?
I surrendered my whole life up to God, into His Hands; and I surrendered myself into God’s Hands, to make of me and my life what He would (except not a Preacher, that was my only exception). Thus, I left it all up to God, to do whatever He would do. Because, although I didn’t know what it would be, or what would be the outcome of it; the one thing I did know for certain was, it would be good. It would be for good. Good would come of it. It would be a good success. And so, much the same as Jacob (a.k.a. Israel), when he was on the run for his life, to escape being murdered by his brother Esau, and he didn’t ask for much, I didn’t specifically ask for much either.

But, the Lord, God willed and vowed to do far more for Jacob/Israel

The same as with Jacob/Israel, God did far more for me. He did exceedingly, abundantly, above and beyond all I could, or did, think to ask. Now, I understand Ephesians 3:20.

Also, as with Jacob/Israel, all that God did for me did not all happen right away, all at once, or overnight. At first, there was a change for the better; but then, things starting changing for the worse. And, they continued to change for the worse, so much so, that almost exactly a year later, in November 2006, I was approaching a complete psychological, mental, emotional and nervous break-down. I had reached the proverbial end of my rope; and, I had no idea how much longer I could hold on; but, I knew it was not long. I had no job, no money. I was staying in a rented room, and about to be evicted for lack of payment. My military service-connected physical and psychological wounds had flared-up again; I was in severe physical pain, in addition to re-living the trauma, injustices and betrayals of the military and the Veterans Administration related, and tied to it. I was so bad-off, from having been through so much, way, way too much for one life-time; I believed that if I had a “break-down,” if I went over the edge, it was highly unlikely I would come back. So, I decided to do whatever I had to do, to get the V.A. (V.A. Medical System) to give me the help I needed, but had still yet to receive, for over 23 years. This decision was the beginning of what would turn out to be an inpatient stay that began 7 days before Christmas, on 18 December 2006, and lasted almost three years. It included a long list of traumas, and a long trail of mistreatment, medical malpractice, gross misconduct, professional misconduct, and ongoing personal trauma tied to it, that never ought to occur in any medical facility, or healthcare environment. Early on in my inpatient stay, I thought my experiences were highly traumatizing because of some privileges and advantages in my upbringing and background, compared to most of the other veterans who were patients there. But, that was not true. I overheard other patients, male veterans declaring that the experience was just like being in a minimum security prison; and they knew it; because, they had been in prison. The bright spot of all of it, and during all of it, was God began what would be the beginning of me ministering to others, and He made it possible for me to be enlightened to thee truth about the Veterans Administration and the V.A medical facilities. He enabled and empowered me to be in the position to learn thee truth that I didn’t know, and never would have been revealed, or discovered, from the outside. Through the process of my persistent efforts to bring resolution and closure to my unresolved physical trauma, chronic post traumatic shock disorder (PTSD), and my loss of a stable livelihood, God enabled and empowered me to discover thee truth, of why I had never received the help, the medical care, the healing and recovery I needed; and that I was not the only one. There were countless number of other veterans just like me, in the same predicament. Through ministering to others, God enabled and empowered me to help others, that lacked the education, training, skills and capabilities needed to improve their circumstances and outcomes. Although I couldn’t solve my own problems, and couldn’t get the help and cooperation I needed to bring closure to my own life’s problems and struggles, due to, and through God, I could still help others to do so. Two facilities later, on 29 October 2009, almost three years after my first admission to the first facility, my inpatient stay came to an end, and along with it, the end to one of the most horrific experiences of my life, with the exception of my ministering service unto God during the course of it.

After my inpatient discharge on 29 October 2009, consecrated apart from the world, and enlightened to why, “not by bread alone”

7 November 2009 was the beginning of my lengthy consecration apart from the world, and the world’s. As of November 2018, it has been 9 years consecrated almost solely to Prayer, my salvation, redemption and deliverance, and ministry to others, via thee truth, the way of life and the light, enabled and empowered through the power, works, teaching and working of Thee Holy Spirit. Over the course of 9 years, from 2009 to 2018, God enlightened me to the realization of  not by bread alone,” why it is true; and is thee truth. Jacob/Israel merely asked for food, clothing, shelter and his physical well-being; but, he needed a whole lot more, much more for life in abundance, which is available from God. We live, not by bread alone, not solely through the physical bread or what we eat, for our bodies. We also live, or fail to do so, by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God; because He is thee Author of life, the sole source of life, and He is the sole source of life’s prosperity, life prospered to living, and to living in abundance.

Deut 8:3

In Consecration – God’s Revelations, Enlightenment, Salvation, Redemption And Deliverance

However, what is true, and is thee truth about an individual who does the same thing over and over again, repeatedly, but expects a different outcome is, they are deceived about what is true, and about thee truth. They are not working with, or proceeding upon thee truth, or according to it. But, they don’t know it. They are ignorant of thee truth, and are ignorant of their ignorance. Over the course of my 9 years of consecration, Father, God enlightened me to thee truth of my ignorance, and to thee truth of what I needed to know. He enlightened me to my other greatest problem, which was I did not know thee truth about life and living. And, because I did not know thee truth about life and living, I also did not know thee truth of, and about my number one, biggest and worst life’s problem.

Of all my problems, what was my number one, biggest and worst life’s problem?
It was, I had an enemy, that I didn’t even know existed.

The Outcome Of 9 Extraordinary Years, Father, God Solved All My Unsolved Cold Cases

It didn’t take Father, God 9 years to save, redeem and deliver me from being on Universal Death Row, or from my past. Actually, He accomplished it in the same amount of time that He accomplished creation of The Earth, and all upon it. He did in less than 7; He did it in 6. He did it all within 6 Years. It took the next three years for me to recognize, reckon and reconcile what He had done, and the difference and differences it made between my past, my previous position and condition, and the transformation and transition He had made possible, as a result of all the changes, and progress enabled and empowered by Him In short, it took three years to really begin to sink in, and that process is not yet complete. I was blind; but, now I see, more clearly. It is still sinking in; I am still getting the picture, as He enables and empowers me to see it more, and more clearly, and less as men as trees, walking (Mark 8:23-25).

Over the course of 9 years combined, Father, God opened my eyes, enlightened me to thee truth, gave me the needed insight, and understanding too. Now I see, and understand why, and how, so many things about my life, in my life, went so horribly wrong. I see, and understand ,why I alone, on my own, never would have figured it out, solved it, or brought the end to all the harm and destruction. Now I see, and understand why it was all beyond me, it involved far more than thee truth about me. Now I see, and understand it involved far more life’s outcomes than just mine, and it involved destructive power, and powers; that I knew nothing about, that were continually, systematically, working to destroy life, lives and the power for living, that included far more than only me, or my life. Now I see, and understand, I was merely one of the victims, along with all the rest of humanity. Now I see, and understand why, like the majority of humanity, I was wholly in the dark about it all, wholly ignorant of it all, except, I knew something was very, very wrong; and a lot of things had gone horribly wrong. And, just like humanity, I now see, and understand why without God, I had no real idea, knowledge or understanding about why so much had gone wrong, or how to bring the end to it all?

For more of my Testimony, read the Preface